The Unwelcome Change – Grief

Little did I know when I wrote my last blog post on February 27th that change of the serious, unwelcome kind was coming our way.  However unwelcome, unplanned and uninvited, it did arrive with the unexpected illness and death of my boyfriend’s mother, Amy.

An illness, which looked manageable, turned into an early morning phone call, the rush into Mass General to be greeted by a kind Argentinian doctor bearing terrible news.   48 hours later, this news led to difficult decisions and, ultimately, Amy’s passing.  Change is now upon us.  My partner in crime for over 31 years, is now without his nuclear family – his dad gone long ago at 48, his only sister back in 2008 at 43, and now his mom.    His life has changed again, forever. My heart breaks for him.  Still, he is stoic and, frankly, this worries me – a lot.  Men are given such a narrow range of acceptable emotion by society that one can hardly blame them for doing what no one has taught them or allowed them to do and that is express all of their emotions.  I believe this is one of the reasons men die sooner than woman and I find it unacceptable.

For my gentle readers who are men, please tell me what you most wished for during the times you experienced grief?  How can we, the women who love you, be there for you?

For my readers who are women, what has been your experience with this?  How can we best support each other during these times of unwelcome, unwanted change and loss?





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