Some people are wired to be “good” people. They focus on doing the right thing at every critical juncture even if it means (and it often does) they get the short end of the stick. They were raised to believe that good things come to good people and that they must do the righteous thing, the moral thing even if it is the wrong thing for them. They habitually put themselves last and have an idea that someone, someone is watching them and keeping score. Maybe this is true, maybe it is not. The “goodist” is the anti-thesis of the narcissist – though both may be excessively focused on themselves.
The “goodist” excels at being modest and self-effacing and taking care of others needs before their own. They do not back out on promises or commitments even when they are trapped in an abusive situation. They think it is too rude to say “no”. Once the “goodist” realizes that they always seem to come up short, they become angry, Or at least their subconscious does, in true “goodist” form, they do not necessarily recognize this anger. Instead, it is often transmuted into depression or converted into aches and pains which are far more acceptable than admitting the terrible rage that is brewing in the subconscious mind. Rather than allow themselves to be angry at all, the “goodist’s” anger is not acknowledged, but suppressed.
The “goodist” patiently waits for their slice of pie to find it is all gone and the greedy claimed second and third pieces for themselves. Thus their anger is a natural consequence of their continual self-sacrifice. The “goodist” excuses and rationalizes other people’s bad behavior, they are compelled to take the higher, lonelier road rather than …say…get angry. At some point they believe, they will get their due. But all they get is crap. The “goodist” puts themselves last and, not surprisingly, so does everyone else.
For more information about the health consequences of being a “goodist”, I urge you to read:
The Divided Mind by Dr. John Sarno
Heal your mind, heal your life.
“Expecting the world to be fair to you because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.